Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened. -- Winston Churchill

All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. -- Galileo Galilei

I never give them hell. I just tell the truth and they think it's hell. -- Harry Truman

Location: Wichita, Kansas

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Thursday, March 09, 2006

Fred Phelps Lets the Good Times Role

It's time to address a topic, that admittedly, has been put off for awhile. First of all, it's an unpleasant subject. Second, that it pertains to an individual who makes Kansas his home base is embarrassing. Kansas makes the news for tornadoes (usually with an interview of an illiterate with missing teeth), our Board of Education (creationism), “In Cold Blood” (well, Capote did win for best actor), BTK (another shining example of psychopathology), and an annual pancake race (who needs NASCAR).

Now we have also become known as the home of Fred Phelps. Yes, Fred the funeral heckler. It has to be said of Fred that he does have a certain genius for publicity. The rantings of this hate monger were not making the headlines like in the good old early days of his little cult. That can be awfully discouraging to a hard working homophobic nut case who has labored so long in his pseudo-religious rage.

But did Fred give up, did he despair? Why, of course not. He put on his pointed thinking cap and came up with a sure fire solution. He would stage his “God Hates Fags” gatherings at the funerals of AID's victims and gay people who died by anti-gay violence. It worked like a charm for awhile, with the media swarming on it like cockroaches on.. well... whatever it is cockroaches really like. But, those fickle press folk have a short attention span, so old Fred had to ratchet things up a notch to keep the attention coming.

Here's where Fred really hit his stride. Instead of gay's funerals, he would shift the show over to the funerals of our military men and women who died serving in Afghanistan and Iraq. He had to make a few new signs up, like “Thank God for IED's” to go along with the ever popular “Thank God for AID's” placards, but the effort was well worth it. He has been making the national news on a regular basis, and has risen to deserving special legislation banning funeral protests. Can you say Supreme Court case? He has even managed to create a loyal counter-demonstration cadre that doubles the circus.

Yes, it's high times for Fred and his Fredlets. The media can be counted on to keep the Phelps show going. After all, it's “news”. Ah well, they can't take “The Wizard of Oz” away from us. You have to take solace where you can find it.

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